Day 63 of the Apocalypse, Ground Zero, Gerton, NC pop. 231

Gratitude has changed for me since Hurricane Helene.

It’s no longer a litany of things I am grateful for or should be grateful for.

It’s not a way of encouraging myself to be more positive - hyping myself up when I’m irritated at reality. Reminding myself to focus on my desire instead of what I see in front of me.

Gratitude isn’t something I’m working towards every day.

It’s a fundamental shift in consciousness.

Every resident of Gerton is alive. No one is missing.

There were no bodies to be buried. We are all here. We came together after the storm. We became a stronger community.

I am stronger than I was two months ago: not by forcing or cajoling but simply by choosing to show up and embrace this new world we are living in.
I now know I am capable of living in an apocalyptic world. I am capable of loving myself and others in the midst of horrifying devastation. I am not striving to survive, or reminding myself to be grateful that I am alive.

I am fully present. This presence is my gratitude.

That is a fundamental reorientation of gratitude for me.
I am not counting my blessings, because I am the blessing.

I have had the honor and privilege of existing at this particular time, with these particular people, in this particular place.

I recognize, acknowledge, give thanks for, and appreciate who I am and where I am. Hurricane Helene gave me this blessing.

Devastation on a large scale taught me this kind of gratitude.

May we all be blessed.
May we all be present.
May we all be fiercely loved.
May we all know ourselves as a blessing.